Transformers review

[alobear]

I really do never learn.  Despite the fact that I've never met a Michael Bay movie I even remotely liked, I allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security by the Empire review and the recommendations of people whose opinions I respect.  I went in to Transformers with a completely disengaged brain, knowing that it would be nothing like the cartoon, and hoping it might be a couple of hours of mindless entertainment.

It certainly wasn't anthing like the cartoon and, unfortunately, it also wasn't remotely entertaining.  Now, I realise most of the people reading this have already seen the film and rather enjoyed it - I don't really know what to say other than that I assume Dave and I must somehow have been watching a different film.  The comedy was completely unfunny, the script was execrable, the characters were all bland, annoying or utterly unlikeable, and the parts that weren't cringe-makingly awful were downright traumatic.  I have no idea how a film of such violence got a 12A certificate, but I found a lot of it very unpleasant - the body count was huge, and watching Megatron tear Jazz in half is something the seven-year-old avid cartoon fan inside me is not going to forget any time soon.  Not to mention Bumblebee being subdued (which went on for a very long time and involved very disturbing side effects) and later losing his legs.  Just because they were robots didn't make their injuries and suffering any less horrific to me.

Obviously, my opinon is not shared by many - I don't know why I didn't enjoy the film when other people did.  I know I have a blind spot when it comes to comedy - almost universally, I don't find things funny that are generally accepted to be so.  Evidently, I have a similar problem with action movies, if this one is anything to go by.  I really wish that wasn't the case - that way, there'd be a whole lot more entertainment open to me, and I wouldn't be going to bed tonight wishing two and a half hours of my memories could be erased.

Comments

[vampadvocate.livejournal.com]

I didn't dislike it as much as you did but I found I was just bored in places (the whole military set pieces left me rather cold) and the whole "comedy" sequence with the lead human lad trying to find the glasses round his house and avoiding his parents was a bit tedious.

That said I quite liked the bits of the lad and the heroine talking about cars. The violence doesn't bother me it's a 12A film not a PG but I share your not being impressed by action films mostly because I find them dull - I've always loved character stuff above big bangs anyway.

[vampadvocate.livejournal.com]

Never watched it - didn't appeal. I think you could be right - even military history bores me and I love history :-)

[alobear.livejournal.com]

I was strongly advised by my brother not to watch Starship Troopers so I never have.

[quintus-marcius.livejournal.com]

Odd. I remember it as being very funny in places and an interesting if depressing presentation of human society. Presumably I have blocked out memories of violence which would of course be appropriate for the subject matter.

[alobear.livejournal.com]

I remember at the time there was mention of dismemberment, and you know I have a problem with dismemberment.

[alobear.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not particularly keen on that. Wormtail cutting his own hand off at the end of Goblet of Fire isn't in my top ten movie moments, either.

[vampadvocate.livejournal.com]

Not seen "Saving Private Ryan" but I have seen "Three Kings" or at least bits of it - it was the telly at home once. "Three Kings" wasn't really my type of film but I did like some of the bits I saw.

Gaaahhh!

[cholten99.livejournal.com]

I hated Starship troupers - but not really to do with the film. The film itself is actually a very good parody of creeping fascist thinking (or that is what I got from it). What I hated was that the audience I saw it with obviously didn't see it as parody and just loved the fact the heros torturing / killing the bad guys...

I saw about 10 mins of Saving Private Ryan once on mute which queuing for a very busy bar at a club. That much alone, even with no sound, left me highly traumatised.

Don't get me wrong - I *love* Aliens, I like B5 (which is very militaristic) and I was very impressed by Full Metal Jacket, Platoon and Hamburger Hill (not that I'd ever want to see any of them again). I'm not against military stuff on principle - what I'm against is the gratuitous off hand killing of un-named characters for no plot gain.