Two Really Bad Movies
Mar. 18th, 2024 01:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alobearSo, a while back, we watched the new animated film Babylon 5: The Road Home - which featured loads of the original cast. But it was really bad... Every time we thought it couldn't get any worse, it did... The story made no sense, it was very episodic and each section achieved basically nothing, and then it went all weird and wibbly and woo-woo, and ended up exactly where it started in a completely pointless way... Ah well...
Then, last night, we watched the new Netflix film Damsel - which featured tons of great actors and was slated as a new take on the traditional damsel-in-distress story. But it was really bad... Every time we thought it couldn't get any worse, it did...
The first 45 minutes or so were very slow, with a lot of annoying questions about background, worldbuilding, logistics, motivations, etc. Then poor old Millie Bobby Brown had to spend another 45 minutes acting alone in a dark cave - AND WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE OFF HER CORSET - while trying to stay away from the dragon. She found a map that nobody would have been able to make because they would have had to escape the mountain and then climb back down into the depths to draw it... Many, many people got horribly killed for very little reason (though at least it was equal opportunities slaughter with diverse victims???), and Ellodie's rationale for allying with the dragon at the end made no sense. So, her argument was that the 'princesses' were innocent because they weren't really of the royal line - but even real princesses of the royal line would have been innocent of killing the dragon's children... So, even though the dragon was wronged, it still did terrible things for no very good reason - including killing Ellodie's father! She also seemed to turn magically into Lara Croft at one point - Dave even pointed out that she spend ages finding her way through the cave system, got out and then went back in to do a speed run! - AND WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE OFF HER CORSET???
I'm really not sure why we kept watching either film after the first half hour or so - I think we were hoping in both cases that they might redeem themselves by the end somehow - but they didn't.
Then, last night, we watched the new Netflix film Damsel - which featured tons of great actors and was slated as a new take on the traditional damsel-in-distress story. But it was really bad... Every time we thought it couldn't get any worse, it did...
The first 45 minutes or so were very slow, with a lot of annoying questions about background, worldbuilding, logistics, motivations, etc. Then poor old Millie Bobby Brown had to spend another 45 minutes acting alone in a dark cave - AND WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE OFF HER CORSET - while trying to stay away from the dragon. She found a map that nobody would have been able to make because they would have had to escape the mountain and then climb back down into the depths to draw it... Many, many people got horribly killed for very little reason (though at least it was equal opportunities slaughter with diverse victims???), and Ellodie's rationale for allying with the dragon at the end made no sense. So, her argument was that the 'princesses' were innocent because they weren't really of the royal line - but even real princesses of the royal line would have been innocent of killing the dragon's children... So, even though the dragon was wronged, it still did terrible things for no very good reason - including killing Ellodie's father! She also seemed to turn magically into Lara Croft at one point - Dave even pointed out that she spend ages finding her way through the cave system, got out and then went back in to do a speed run! - AND WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE OFF HER CORSET???
I'm really not sure why we kept watching either film after the first half hour or so - I think we were hoping in both cases that they might redeem themselves by the end somehow - but they didn't.
