Really bad synopsis competition!

[alobear]

Whilst browsing Amazon yesterday, I came across the following fantastically dreadful book description:

"When Sister Evangeline of the St Rose Convent stumbles across a mysterious correspondence with Abigail Rockefeller in the archive, it reveals that angels once walked among us … and might still. This discovery plunges Evangeline into the hidden and dangerous world of the Angelologists – a secret society that battles to prevent the ascendancy of the Nephilim, the angels’ descendants on Earth. Evangeline becomes the catalyst in a race to hunt down powerful and ancient artefacts that can be used to enslave humankind. And not only is the key to finding those artefacts within her grasp – but also a secret about her own past and its links to the Angelologists. Possession of either could cost Evangeline her life . . "

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Angelology by Danielle Trussoni!

Can anybody top that?  :o)

Comments

[alobear.livejournal.com]

Um, I think I may have topped it myself...

Here we have Gift of the Goddess by Denise Rossetti:

"Book 1 in the Phoenix Rising series The Law of the love goddess Lufra states that no man may take his pleasure inside any part of a woman's body, unless she has climaxed first. Each time, every time. But when warrior-scout Anje is taken captive by Brin, Lufra's shaman, she discovers that not even divine law can protect her from the erotic wiles of two determined men. Huge, dark and enigmatic, Brin wears a tattoo of the holy dragon on his magnificent body. Years of erotic training have given him skills and stamina Anje cannot match. But it's the strength of his will that threatens to conquer her very soul, while his beautiful young friend Trey has a bravado and a vulnerability that make her mouth water. Anje fears Brin's arrogant prediction may be true "You'll surrender, scout, and you'll glory in it. You'll abandon yourself and adore it. Because you trust trust absolutely." Screaming and cursing her ecstasy, she learns that dark raptures are addictive. But neither man is what he seems and all three are pawns in a suicidal scheme to placate an angry goddess. Saving her lovers will take everything Anje's got as a woman and a warrior."

[prunesquallormd.livejournal.com]

LOL WTF?
That's awesome, in a really, really bad way.

So, were you tempted to read the books just to see if they could be as bad as the blurb suggests? Cos surely that's not possible, right?

[alobear.livejournal.com]

I have read books like this before, and they really can be as bad as they sound. Doesn't tempt me any more, I'm glad to say - though "Lord of Fire" that I read at the start of the year came close to being a relapse.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, my!
I'm quite glad I don't live in that world - it sounds exhausting ;-)
-Lx

Less than zero?

[lareinemisere.livejournal.com]

How much worse can it get?

I think I can at least match it...and I've actually *read* this one, which is every bit as rubbish as it sounds:

Step beyond the wall of your own imagination to the place where erotic enchantment lies...When Sleeping Beauty awakes at the Prince's kiss it is the beginning of our story, not the end. Once the prisoner of a spell, locked in the sleep of innocence - now she is the prisoner of sensual love, held fast by the magic of desire. Claimed by the Prince as the slave of his passions, Sleeping Beauty learns that tenderness and cruelty, pleasure and pain, longing and fulfilment are all one in the awesome kingdom of love. Beauty she is - but she is sleeping no more...

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, by Anne Rice [under a pseudonym, something like A Roquelaure]

Re: Less than zero?

[alobear.livejournal.com]

Oh dear me! Sounds dreadful! :o)

I've had second thoughts, though, and I think in actual fact the "Angelologists" take the prize. The erotic stuff is just too easy. Thinking that people would take a word as ridiculous as "Angelology" seriously is much more worrying.